The Weariness of Wand'rings

Empty
Weary
Cut off
How did I get here?
I tried to do it myself
But I stopped thinking
I stopped caring
I gave in
I wandered again
Chasing what this time?
I don’t remember
Whatever it was
It was just a mirage
My eyes are opening again
Ever so slowly
Painfully slowly
The callous is so thick already
I can barely feel
Here in the wasteland
Of my own wanderings
The emptiness
Of my lonely self
Yet even here
You chase me
You’re knocking on the door to this place too
Oh how I want to open
But I cannot
I’ll falter on my own
So give me the strength
To open the door
Come and give me
Your life

There is no other Source

Get Life. Above all else, learn to live. Because life is in Christ. He came to give us life and life abundantly. And to be brutally honest... there is no substitute. We can do nothing in our own strength. Nothing. Zilch. Noodle :-P

Today that was made painfully clear. It's amazing how empty life is and how weak we are when He is absent. No other thing or person, no matter how amazing can fill His place.

So take the time to get to know Him. Don't be afraid to do something that seems crazy if it's where He leads you. Him being God, it'll probably turn out okay ;-)

Reflections

So as I was writing just now, I went back and looked at some of my old posts, just for grins. It was an interesting experience. On the one hand, I was generally happy with the aesthetics of most post. As content-wise, it was basically Nathan's thoughts on life: a mixture of lightbulb moments, outpouring joy and thankfulness, depression, and even a little despair.

Yet, through it all, I've see God's providence all around and even some growth in myself. All in all, it was an encouraging and thought-provoking experience

I Cry Out

Oh Lord my God
I cry out
With praise and thankfulness
Truly You are faithful
Beyond all comprehension
You do not disappoint
Nor go back on Your word
Your plans are good
Your words are life
Your presence is joy and wisdom
Your gifts are lavish
Nothing stands before You
No mountain
No plan
No resolution
You overwhelm all
And save the day
Your wisdom and goodness
Are beyond the realm of logic
Impossibility isn’t for You
Merely boundless love
Boundless goodness
Boundless power
You are omni
Alpha and Omega
Necessary and Sufficient
Three yet one

Some Big News

For those of you who know me, you know I've been struggling for awhile about whether or not to stay at the U.S. Air Force Academy. On the one hand, it is a prestigious institution with many opportunities, but many costs (albeit not financial ones, unless one counts the opportunity cost of 5 years of military service vs. 5 years in the private sector). On the other, it is a life governed by stupid traditions and often by at the very least hardheaded people. "People respond to incentives" was not one of the maxims used in designing the USAFA system.
That's just the stuff. Then there's the war: the war we are fighting is highly unlikely to end with anything other than a U.S. pullout after costs that finally make fighting the war politically prohibitive. Western, particularly American influence in the Middle East over the years has fueled an anti-Americanism that ranges from mild disapproval to murderous hate. My government says we're defending freedom by attempting to impose a government on a region that has never been under one government (unless you count the regime the Soviets propped up, which I do not). And I'm supposed to die for this screw-up?
On the third hand (yes, I can be that weird), this is where God has me. The obvious Providence in not only my life, but the life of some key people here, the opportunities opened, and the advice of a lot of people, most of whom are older and wiser than me, has finally helped me to put aside my prejudices regarding government and military stuff and realize that this is where God has me. He has been so good and faithful, and I know that He will protect and defend not only me, but the family I hope to have. I still gripe and complain, but I'm learning to be content. It's going to be a long 3 years, but I know God has wonderful things in store, and I know an Academy diploma is a key that opens many doors.

So, I'm endeavoring to grow in intimacy with my Savior and make the most of my time here. I'd always appreciate your prayers.

I'm Baaack!!!!

After a long hiatus from blogging, I have returned :-D Why I didn't blog over the summer, I'm not sure actually. Forgetfulness and laziness I guess. No matter, I shall blog again!