12 The tribes of Israel sent men throughout the tribe of Benjamin, saying, "What about this awful crime that was committed among you? 13 Now surrender those wicked men of Gibeah so that we may put them to death and purge the evil from Israel."
But the Benjamites would not listen to their fellow Israelites. 14 From their towns they came together at Gibeah to fight against the Israelites. 15 At once the Benjamites mobilized twenty-six thousand swordsmen from their towns, in addition to seven hundred chosen men from those living in Gibeah. 16 Among all these soldiers there were seven hundred chosen men who were left-handed, each of whom could sling a stone at a hair and not miss.
17 Israel, apart from Benjamin, mustered four hundred thousand swordsmen, all of them fighting men.
18 The Israelites went up to Bethel [b] and inquired of God. They said, "Who of us shall go first to fight against the Benjamites?"
The LORD replied, "Judah shall go first."
19 The next morning the Israelites got up and pitched camp near Gibeah. 20 The men of Israel went out to fight the Benjamites and took up battle positions against them at Gibeah. 21 The Benjamites came out of Gibeah and cut down twenty-two thousand Israelites on the battlefield that day. 22 But the men of Israel encouraged one another and again took up their positions where they had stationed themselves the first day. 23 The Israelites went up and wept before the LORD until evening, and they inquired of the LORD. They said, "Shall we go up again to battle against the Benjamites, our brothers?"
The LORD answered, "Go up against them."
24 Then the Israelites drew near to Benjamin the second day. 25 This time, when the Benjamites came out from Gibeah to oppose them, they cut down another eighteen thousand Israelites, all of them armed with swords.
26 Then the Israelites, all the people, went up to Bethel, and there they sat weeping before the LORD. They fasted that day until evening and presented burnt offerings and fellowship offerings [c] to the LORD. 27 And the Israelites inquired of the LORD. (In those days the ark of the covenant of God was there, 28 with Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, ministering before it.) They asked, "Shall we go up again to battle with Benjamin our brother, or not?"
The LORD responded, "Go, for tomorrow I will give them into your hands."
29 Then Israel set an ambush around Gibeah. 30 They went up against the Benjamites on the third day and took up positions against Gibeah as they had done before. 31 The Benjamites came out to meet them and were drawn away from the city. They began to inflict casualties on the Israelites as before, so that about thirty men fell in the open field and on the roads—the one leading to Bethel and the other to Gibeah.
32 While the Benjamites were saying, "We are defeating them as before," the Israelites were saying, "Let's retreat and draw them away from the city to the roads."
33 All the men of Israel moved from their places and took up positions at Baal Tamar, and the Israelite ambush charged out of its place on the west [d] of Gibeah. [e] 34 Then ten thousand of Israel's finest men made a frontal attack on Gibeah. The fighting was so heavy that the Benjamites did not realize how near disaster was. 35 The LORD defeated Benjamin before Israel, and on that day the Israelites struck down 25,100 Benjamites, all armed with swords.
This has become, for the moment, my fencing passage. God has blessed me with lots of success in fencing, but sometimes it seems as if His hand is against me, even though I feel that I'm doing my best and my heart is at least mostly in the right place. This is what happened in Division I in San Jose this past weekend. Ther person I lost to should not have beaten me, but it seemed as though my touches weren't going off and he was getting a bunch of "lucky" touches. It was frustrating, to say the least. But, in the end, God is good and His ways are higher than ours
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The purpose of USAFA, at least for now
Finally, I think I know why I'm here. It seems that USAFA, for this season (however long that may last), is a place of hardship to learn to trust Him in everything and live moment by moment in His grace. It seems that now is a time to, at least for awhile, focus less on long-term plans than on learning the daily, hourly, minutely lessons that God has for me, as well as learning to live them.
Even the military facades are a blessing in disguise. Because they are so obviously fake and pointless, it's easier to focus on what matters instead of being caught up in this place.
God has provided so much, and I'm excited for the things He'll do in me this semester. I pray only that I would be attentive, teachable, and promptly obedient to what He would have me learn.
Even the military facades are a blessing in disguise. Because they are so obviously fake and pointless, it's easier to focus on what matters instead of being caught up in this place.
God has provided so much, and I'm excited for the things He'll do in me this semester. I pray only that I would be attentive, teachable, and promptly obedient to what He would have me learn.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Beware of Hatred
Beware of hatred, in all its levels. It will consume you, if subtly, and steal your life. I believe now that the reason I was so lifeless last semester was that I allowed my hatred of various aspects of USAFA and my frustration with being there to grow. Subtly, it began to consume me, and my capacity to feel and be sensitive was severely knocked back, replaced by bitter thoughts and sarcastic cynicism. I have a penchant for the pessimistic and I notice the negative first. But that doesn't sound too much like being joyful always, praying continually, and giving thanks in all circumstances.
It didn't make sense that a place could make inner life harder/near impossible. The antidote to death inside is to connect with God, the source of life. So that is my struggle, to learn to live moment by moment in His grace.
It didn't make sense that a place could make inner life harder/near impossible. The antidote to death inside is to connect with God, the source of life. So that is my struggle, to learn to live moment by moment in His grace.
What's Everything?
Of late, God has blessed me with the grace to surrender a lot of things. For the longest time "give it to Him" seemed so abstract. What did it mean? Well, I think I might have a working definition now: giving up ones ownership and responsibility of the thing and its outcomes and trusting in God's power and goodness (it tends to be in better hands that way).
Relationships and fencing have so far been the biggest venues for trust and surrender, but I'm realizing now that there are other things, stuff we might not usually think of when we think of surrendering.
Maybe this is different for others, but school has always been sort of an individual endeavor. I would always do the reading and work and occasionally pray for help on a paper or test and give thanks for good results. However, Erika recently showed me a verse that was pointed directly at my (so far merited) apprehension about taking Calculus II and Physics: 1 John 2:27
"And as for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you, but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you abide in Him"
There is a temptation to be rather Platonic, thinking that God and His word applies primarily to the spiritual, almost to the exclusion of the everyday. But doesn't "all things" include the stuff you study in school?
So what else in life occurs outside the sphere of His ownership and recognition?
Relationships and fencing have so far been the biggest venues for trust and surrender, but I'm realizing now that there are other things, stuff we might not usually think of when we think of surrendering.
Maybe this is different for others, but school has always been sort of an individual endeavor. I would always do the reading and work and occasionally pray for help on a paper or test and give thanks for good results. However, Erika recently showed me a verse that was pointed directly at my (so far merited) apprehension about taking Calculus II and Physics: 1 John 2:27
"And as for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you, but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you abide in Him"
There is a temptation to be rather Platonic, thinking that God and His word applies primarily to the spiritual, almost to the exclusion of the everyday. But doesn't "all things" include the stuff you study in school?
So what else in life occurs outside the sphere of His ownership and recognition?
Friday, January 8, 2010
A little anecdote from December
Well, the moral of this story basically goes like this: I'm silly and emotional and a bit childish and God is good and powerful.
Early December was a hard time for me. One of the words I clung to was a song by Rush of Fools called "Never Far Away." Well, a part of that song goes "You're the moonlight in the dark of my night." So, one night, I was feeling particularly horrible and hopeless, so much so that I went outside to look for the moon. It wasn't out. So I sorta said "Look God, the moon's not out" Then He did something, well, divine, and redeemed the night. I definitely needed to be shut up in that instance. Thankfully He is patient with our immaturity.
Early December was a hard time for me. One of the words I clung to was a song by Rush of Fools called "Never Far Away." Well, a part of that song goes "You're the moonlight in the dark of my night." So, one night, I was feeling particularly horrible and hopeless, so much so that I went outside to look for the moon. It wasn't out. So I sorta said "Look God, the moon's not out" Then He did something, well, divine, and redeemed the night. I definitely needed to be shut up in that instance. Thankfully He is patient with our immaturity.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I've never seen money better spent
I just got done reading The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn. It's about giving and how that glorifies God. It was truly inspiring, I highly recommend that book.
It was so inspiring that I wanted to give too. It's perfect: I have relatively lots of money and little expenses. I was carrying around one of the 100 dollar bills I got at the ball, and the thought of giving it had entered my head. Why not do something radical? But, I didn't know where to give it, so I was praying.
Well, tonight in walks someone in need of God's love. Dan Jones, one of the guys in my squad. He's a military brat (he's 19 and lived in 20 different houses, this is his 10th school). His dad is in Afghanistan. His mom has 2 jobs now. His little brother cries a lot because he misses Dan. So, he is going to fly home. That's when the thought was put into my head to give him the 100 dollar bill. Thanks be to God, I did. At first he wanted to refuse, but I told him this wasn't me, it was the One inside. By God's grace he took it. My roommates chipped in too after seeing that, so his ticket home to surprise his family now costs 42 dollars.
Moral of the story: treasures in heaven give joyful dividends on earth, and God is surpassingly good.
So, I encourage all of you to go out and do something crazy. Randy Alcorn calculated it, investing in God has about a 10,000 percent return
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. (Malachi 3:10)
It was so inspiring that I wanted to give too. It's perfect: I have relatively lots of money and little expenses. I was carrying around one of the 100 dollar bills I got at the ball, and the thought of giving it had entered my head. Why not do something radical? But, I didn't know where to give it, so I was praying.
Well, tonight in walks someone in need of God's love. Dan Jones, one of the guys in my squad. He's a military brat (he's 19 and lived in 20 different houses, this is his 10th school). His dad is in Afghanistan. His mom has 2 jobs now. His little brother cries a lot because he misses Dan. So, he is going to fly home. That's when the thought was put into my head to give him the 100 dollar bill. Thanks be to God, I did. At first he wanted to refuse, but I told him this wasn't me, it was the One inside. By God's grace he took it. My roommates chipped in too after seeing that, so his ticket home to surprise his family now costs 42 dollars.
Moral of the story: treasures in heaven give joyful dividends on earth, and God is surpassingly good.
So, I encourage all of you to go out and do something crazy. Randy Alcorn calculated it, investing in God has about a 10,000 percent return
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. (Malachi 3:10)
The Way
As I looked at the title of this blog of mine, I realized that it acts as if there is a question as to what the way is. John 14:6 answers that question:
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
So, the way is a person, not an idea or some abstract thing.
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
So, the way is a person, not an idea or some abstract thing.
Monday, January 4, 2010
They can't control your soul, unless you let them...
I'm afraid I've made a horrible mistake quite a few times. For as much as I try to let USAFA control as little of my life as possible, I'm afraid I gave in to worry and depression and allowed them control of my soul. The consequences were mine.
What does God say about this one? 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 puts it well: Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Notice it doesn't say give thanks for all circumstances. However, it's not as though we lack things to give thanks for. We have been saved and forgiven and given new, real life in Jesus. He is always good and faithful and works out all things for our good.
This is supposed to be the foundation of our enduring joy that persists no matter what life throws at us. Happiness relies on circumstances, joy does not. Joy is based in the truth of our redemption
What does God say about this one? 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 puts it well: Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Notice it doesn't say give thanks for all circumstances. However, it's not as though we lack things to give thanks for. We have been saved and forgiven and given new, real life in Jesus. He is always good and faithful and works out all things for our good.
This is supposed to be the foundation of our enduring joy that persists no matter what life throws at us. Happiness relies on circumstances, joy does not. Joy is based in the truth of our redemption
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Do not oppress the alien
When God says something twice, it would seem to behoove us to take heed. The other day I was reading Exodus, and on facing pages it said "do not oppress the alien in your midst."
But what does this mean in real life? To me, the obvious application is to immigration. While we shouldn't encourage law-breaking, to join in the oppression of foreigners, even illegal immigrants, seems rather wrong.
But what about other places? What about socially? It is often the nature of a group to attack and tear down newcomers. However, we are called to something higher.
But what does this mean in real life? To me, the obvious application is to immigration. While we shouldn't encourage law-breaking, to join in the oppression of foreigners, even illegal immigrants, seems rather wrong.
But what about other places? What about socially? It is often the nature of a group to attack and tear down newcomers. However, we are called to something higher.
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